what to do about close friends who always exaggerates
A friend that embellishes, lies and makes upwards stories in a group setting - why?
(26 Posts)
Went out a few nights agone, lovely people, great night. But one of my friends always embellishes the facts on a story - sometimes she'll say recall that? I just smiling or giggle. I've caught her out a few times now on things said in the past that she cant remember she said but I accept a marvellous memory and its far from the truth. At that place may be an event in the by that totally true only she'll add then many bits to it that are total farce. While her friends will be impressed and holding on to her every word.
Why exercise people practice this and I dont want to be drawn down this faff.
She does it because she wants her friends to "be impressed and property on to her every word".
This is commonly the sign of someone who'south either attention seeking or emotionally insecure virtually their power to make and keep friends.
My dh embellishes. He does it to entertain. Nosotros all know he does and practice make jokes near his exaggeration. You should try gently mentioning it in a lighthearted mode and come across how she reacts.
Sounds like she's doing information technology for amusement value, to make people express mirth. Don't run across any harm in it tbh
Hyperbole is harmless equally long every bit her exaggeration doesn't brand other people look bad. It'southward entertaining if done well.
One of my friends is the master of information technology. Nosotros hang on everything she says, rib her when her stories drift into the impossible and encourage her to tell favourite tales over and over (each new telling is slightly different from the last).
My sis does it. She's not lying, but she tells stories in an entertaining mode. I've heard her tell other people about something I'd been involved with and I barely recognise it. I know to have it with a pinch of common salt, simply she's funny.
Exercise you recollect you're a bit jealous of the attending your friend gets? To me, that's what the tone of your post suggests.
I had a friend who did this, but in relation to bad things that had happened. She'd always embellish and make information technology out to take been the worst possible case imaginable. I caught her out a few times, as nosotros both shared a couple of serious health issues and in a one-to-one she let slip that her state of affairs was non equally bad every bit mine and it turned out she hadn't required all the medical interventions she had claimed, and which I was now facing.
I got really hacked off with information technology. Her situation was bad enough and was deserving enough of sympathy and back up without her having to lie and 'become the extra mile'. I felt manipulated into levels of sympathy (I would even so have been supportive, but I would have liked to have been supportive based on the truth, non based on lies). And considering I was more than individual near the specifics of my health bug with friends, I was often told, well at least you're not in as bad a way equally 10. Which also hacked me off.
The whole friendship concluded up existence a major headfuck and I ended upwards never knowing whether what she was proverb was true or not. I believe she has mental health problems (just my opinion, which I freely admit I am not medically qualified to give) and I believe that this was the but way she could deal with what was happening to her. Fine. Only I tin can choose non to bargain with information technology. And I did. She then moved away and neither of us accept made any efforts to keep in touch.
A bit of hyperbole in a grouping setting is fine IMO if information technology'due south to make the story better and brand people laugh. I know several people who do it to some extent. Yes, if yous were at that place at the time you know it wasn't quite like that simply I think it's generally pretty harmless unless at that place's a pregnant backstory.
I take a friend like this, OP who I massively distanced myself from.
Hers is not for entertainment value, which would be fine, I think.
She lies and exaggerates everything, pretends we knew celebrities when we were younger, it's really weird.
I tin can't be doing with her anymore. She's told loads of weird lies about me and while none are hugely damaging they certainly paint me equally a totally different person to what I am.
I accept no thought why she does it merely I've grown totally sick of it and take little to exercise with her now. I can't go along up with her!
I embellish stories for entertainment value, then long as they are harmless does it matter?
Oh ffs. I do this also. It'due south chosen storytelling. I don't add things that brand me expect good (quite the opposite, I'll often add things that make me look stupid considering that's funnier), merely if I'm expecting people to listen to me in a social setting I should exist giving them something they savor hearing. It'south performance, it's storytelling and people relish information technology.
As long equally she's not embarrassing or denigrating you or anyone else to do it, why on earth do you care so much? Y'all sound similar a chip of a killjoy. (And as an bated, why should I accept that your memory is marvellous and hers is faulty?) Are you jealous that people enjoy listening to her stories more than they do yours? It sounds like it.
I think you lot demand something existent to worry most. Fix something close to you on burn.
I besides do it, although I'm very conscientious to make certain I'm not hurting anyone in the process- the but person I'll send upwardly, for instance, is myself. As Sheba says, it can make a story funnier- information technology entertains people.
However, I have a 'friend' who does the opposite- she'll embellish a story with insulting (about other people) details in an effort to arrive more interesting/funnier. It doesn't work.
It sounds as if your friend likes to entertain, and in that location'due south aught wrong with that. It also does sound every bit though you're slightly jealous and equally though your own talents- 'marvellous retentiveness'- aren't being recognised as you lot retrieve they should.
I never let the truth make it the manner of a practiced story 
Allow's confront it, life is more often than not pretty tiresome. If you tin make people express mirth with a good story, why non? As long as your not hurting anyone in the process there'due south no trouble surely
Waltermittythesequel Sunday twenty-Sep-15 19:01:20
Walter, Anais Nin once said that we don't see things every bit they are, nosotros see them as we are.
Believe me, when I'k foaming at the oral cavity, you'll know about it.
In the meantime, I advise you and OP don't e'er read any travel writing or memoirs. If you knew how writers like James Herriot and Beak Bryson produce such sparkling, enjoyable, entertaining and moving books, you lot would exist Very Cross Indeed.
Sounds like you lot're ane of those dramatic attention seekers that anybody pretends to enjoy listening to, and this has hit a nerve.
You'll see from my mail service that my 'friend's' exaggeration hasn't simply been harmless entertainment...
Simply why would you allow that go far the manner of a good twatty mail, eh?
Walter, I'thousand flattered past your attempts to brand the thread all about me, and puzzled by your attempt to make my direct response to the OP all almost you. My advice remains that you avert travel or memoir writing because information technology would make you even crosser than you already are.
Equally yous were, people.
In the meantime, I suggest you lot and OP don't ever read any travel writing or memoirs
This wasn't addressed to me? 
I embellish too. I tell a neat story. My Dad e'er said..."why let the truth go far the way of a good story?" . Which makes me express mirth. It's never lies, just a bit of exaggerated story telling. For case if i fell over and my anxiety and face up were covered in mud i might say "I was covered to toe". It's harmless. Just entertaining and hurts no i and gives people a laugh.
I do have one friend who e'er cuts me off in the center of stories and constantly goes on nearly me exaggerating to the point when she's around I don't speak.
I always become the vibe she is jealous? I don't come across any point to her micro checking every fact and it spois harmless fun.
Information technology always felt to me that me exaggerating was harmless but her obvious need to cut me down was a bit more than worrying.
I avoid her now.
erin30, I'd like to hear your stories. And don't worry, when someone'south telling an chestnut that everyone's enjoying, and some pipsqueak tries to ruin information technology by whining, "Ooooh, y'all weren't actually COVERED in the mud y'all knoooooow", EVERYONE knows what they're doing and why. And yes, it's envy. OP clearly resents the fact that her friend'southward audiences are always "impressed and belongings on to her every word". She'd do much better only to savor the tales and possibly take a few pointers if she wants to learn how to concord a crowd.
I've been doing information technology lately when telling people some funny stories from early on in my pregnancy. I pretend my husband was there at the time. He wasn't, but it'south then much more than entertaining to chronicle his exasperated and bemused responses than to say, "I did this stupid matter and nobody was there to give me any witty reaction so I just went on and did something else. Cheers for listening!"
A friend of mine is a successful stand comedian. His stories are non ever 100% truthful. I remember they started back when nosotros were teenagers and he'd tell personal anecdotes that had us in fits, or at least extremely engaged until the end. I sometimes knew when he'd made something up or embellished a little but I was having far besides much fun to care then was anybody else. As long as he wasn't being unkind to anyone else to practise it, I appreciated the amusement.
I'd personally prefer a funny story over a boring one! OP I'd really allow it go and focus on the things yous similar most your friend . Unless you have other reasons non to like her.
I know my friend tries to cut me down all the time and her only criticism of me is that I embellish a story.
I am besides kind, loyal, there for people, generous, empathetic, supportive.
My friend is quite passive aggressive towards me. She does stuff similar "accidentally" texts my ex boyfriends. Allegedly wrong number etc.
I am non saying you're jealous of your friend, simply if you lot look at why her stories being factually correct bothers you then much it might assist.
Most funny stories are embellished
Another story embellisher here, but simply in the most light hearted and harmless mode just to add amusement value, likewise like Shodan said, I'g mostly sending up myself. It's never washed to be a drama llama or with the intention to mislead or garner sympathy or to worry people. I recall intention is everything here.
And I would never, ever tell an outright lie, no affair how hilarious or entertaining it might be. If i say something happened, it did. I have very petty tolerance for people who tells lies and believe their own claptrap.
My friend is highly entertaining has due south mantra 'never let the truth go far the way of a good story' it is blatantly obvious she is embellishing for entertainment value though.
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